MOSCOW, August 8, 2005 -- “We just need more kindness in this country,” Kostya concluded as we were winding up our English “lesson” last Tuesday.
Kostya, a sweet, chipmonk-cute, idealistic little 20-year-old, is a legal assistant at the firm where Masha is a lawyer. He was the only one of the three students at the firm able to attend the lesson. The other two were on business trips.
Since he’s an enthusiastic Americanophile, and since he loves to talk, and since I love to sit and look at him while he’s doing it, we didn’t even get close to a grammar lesson. We chatted about the depression, about Packards, about lend-lease during WWII, and about all the things that are wrong with Russia – alcohol, hopelessness, lack of ambition, bad government, corruption, bribery, theft -- and cruelty.
“We just need more kindness!”
And then I remembered my idealistic but fruitless crusade five years ago:
In the early hours of the second millennium, I was winding up my memoirs and mulling over what overriding principle or cause average dolts like me all over the world could wrap themselves around that had some remote chance of making the world a safer and saner and more people-friendly place.
Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, Jews, Catholics, and pagans could hardly organize around patriotism or religion for obvious reasons. And there’s too much disagreement among cultures over the meaning and role of love, generosity, justice, mercy, and even Albert Schweitzer’s “reverence for life” to use them as lightning rods.
And then it came to me:
Kindness! A revolution of kindness is what we needed!
My friend Slava helped me create a website for it, where these paragraphs first appeared.
The idea was to make the “kindness website” the focal point of a revolution which everybody who really wanted to help the world become a nicer, kinder, more gentle place could tap into.
They could send feedback on their efforts and the reverberations of those efforts to the website to serve as inspiration and models to others.
Together we – me and tens of thousands of other eager participants -- would change the world! “It costs nothing,” my site declared. It could bring peace, joy and happiness to both the kind-or and the kind-ee:
So when I got home from my “lesson” with Kostya, I zapped to my kindness website, which I hadn’t visited in two or three years. My god! I was appalled! What a junkyard! It was completely disorganized and incomprehensible. Even I almost went to sleep trying to find the meat of my “great idea,” hidden away on an obscure link.
I was – am – terribly embarrassed by the clumsy design of the site. No wonder the tens of thousands of eager participants never showed up! No wonder it’s gotten only 21 hits in the last five years – probably most of them from me!
Such a noble notion deserves a much better and wider audience than that!
So, voila!
Here you are! Think about it! If everyone would merely decide not to be unkind for just one day, can you imagine what a different world we would experience?
There are no casualties in a revolution of kindness, I wrote. “It’s hard to kill when you’re being kind.”
And I dusted off some really useful and inspiring clichés:
Thomas Carlyle once said “make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world.” I would paraphrase that: Make yourself a kind man and you can be sure there is one less force for evil in the world.
Help civilize the planet. It will cost you nothing. Your grandchildren will be grateful.
Me too.
It’s still a great idea. But today, I’m a little more realistic. It aint gonna happen in a world dominated by Bushes, Blairs, Putins, Mugabes, oil, capitalistic philosophy and economics, and….
Maybe I should just short-circuit the list and say “In today’s world, it aint gonna happen.”
But it’s still worth wishing for – and doing! Kostya’s conviction is still true:
“We just need more kindness in this country.”
And every other.
When I returned this afternoon from my meeting with Larissa in the IB program, I expected to find Zhorik passed out – he hadn’t slept for at least 24 hours and had been trying to go to sleep since midnight last night!
Instead, he stuck his head out of the bedroom door: “Is that you Dane?”
Just then I noticed a pair of red sports shoes in the hallway. “Who’s here?” I was about to ask when out walked Sergei! My sweet little Sergei. How glad we were to see each other. What a relief!
“I’ll have USD3,000 for you in three days,” he announced! Which made me even happier to see him.
Apparently he hasn’t given up his slots business as I thought. But the bribes are more than he had anticipated – to the tax police, to the cops, and to different branches of the mafia than his brother-in-law-to-be Dima is a part of. So he says they will “step-by-step” get everything together. Andrei is also “step-by-step” working things out, and “everything will be okay.”
So at last they’re realizing they aint gonna get rich quick.
He’s collecting the USD3,000 from a colleague of Andrei’s to whom they lent it earlier. He’s 99.9 percent sure the guy will pay. 99.9? That makes me nervous.
But I have high hopes!
Especially since Bill Skyrme reamed me a new one today. Remember how I thought our last conversation ended on a friendlier note? Seems it didn’t! He’s really pissed, as evidenced in the e-mail he sent:
Difficult to know what to say because you have burnt me very badly and I am deeply upset by it. What particularly angered me was that you didn't bother to let me know that you were not going to pay this USD1K back until 4 days after it should have been repaid. The day before you told me that you were not going to repay this money, I spent USD400 on equipment I feel will help me a great deal with my teaching and I had been planning to buy for a long time. Had I known that you would not repay me, I would not have spent this USD400 needless to say.
I lent this money to you on a 'no questions asked' personal basis on your word, that it would be paid back on 01 Aug. There was never any question mentioned or implied that this time frame could or would be extended.
I work pretty horrendous hours when I have to and my rates are higher than a lot of teachers. One of the reasons that I charge more is because I invest more. I probably spend more on magazines in a month than a lot of teachers spend in a year. My rent is probably double what most teachers pay. My 'other' expenses are high - USD4K in the UK and here in the last 2 months and that is NOT including rent and living expenses.
I don't have a credit card at the moment. I am about to switch banks and should eventually be able to get one in about 90 days. I do however have an offshore account here in a Moscow bank in which I keep a small strategic reserve so if a member of my family needs funds on an emergency basis, I can get it to them and have got the necessary funds to buy a plane ticket to 'wherever'. The money I lent you comes from this reserve fund.
You may not be deaf Sir, but you don't listen very carefully. When we had dinner, I told you that I was contemplating going back to the UK during the last week in August to sort out some p/e I had had in storage in Dorset for 20+ years - remember the ivory tusks we talked about? I can't think about trip like that with this mess on my hands.
I also told you that I was planning fairly major changes in my life, and in that respect, I have been extremely busy - I worked flat out all this week-end sorting stuff out here - I am trying to clear the decks for the new academic year plus the possibility of a move. I have got a hell of a lot on my plate and the very last thing I want is problem like this money thing.
I have visa and vacation travel looming up in Oct/Nov which will set me back at least USD3K, possibly more with the new rules so I am gently lining my ducks up in that respect. My top client, 3 times a week at top rate, announced on Sat after-noon that they were stopping for 3 mos ........etc. etc.
Dave, I am feeling very, very uncomfortable with this situation and I would very much appreciate if you could get me out of it as soon as you possibly can.
Cheers, Bill.
I had already amassed USD500 which I was planning to give him tomorrow in any case; and Sergei’s announcement will make it possible for me get him the rest of it in two days.
So I sent the following mea culpa:
I am terribly ashamed and sorry I have hurt you so badly. I had no idea.
When I realized I wasn't going to able to pay it on the first the least I
should have done was tell you immediately. But when I had mentioned it
earlier -- that I thought you would have the money because the twins had
told me they thought they would have it -- that you had said something like,
"no hurry," or "whatever," and I had gotten the impression -- obviously an
incorrect one-- that it was not an emergency situation for you.
On the positive side, I will have USD500 for you at BC tomorrow. And Sergei
arrived this afternoon and said he will have USD3,000 for me on Wednesday, so
I will be able to repay you the full USD1100 by the 10th -- or 11th at the
latest.
I'm deeply sorry that I have inconvenienced you and taken advantage of your
good soul. It has taught me a lesson. Never again will I borrow money for
somebody else. In fact, I have no intention of borrowing money at all for
any purpose -- and wouldn't have this time except it sounded like such a
sure thing and I really wanted to help them... well, never again.
Please forgive me. It looks like you'll have the full USD1100 by Wednesday or
Thursday.
So you should be able to return to England on schedule.
I'm very ashamed that you feel your faith in me has been misplaced.
I'll be at BC tomorrow from 11 till 2, I think in classroom 6. I think you
said you'll be there also. If necessary, we can eontact each other on our
mobiles. If you're not going to be there, we can meet tomorrow evening.
Again, Bill, I'm very sorry I've caused you all this worry. I was
unreasonably cavalier because I mistakenly got the idea it wasn't an
immediate push. Yes, I recall the discussion about going back to England,
but it didn't register that it was late Aug. I was thinking later.
Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow with USD500, and the other USD600 will be in your
hands before the end of the week.
Dane
In any case, it just re-inforces my determination to never again borrow money – and certainly not for somebody else.
In that regard, my visit with Larissa and Elia at School #69 today set the skeleton outline for the new school year which starts Sept. 1 – three weeks from now: I’ll be teaching 20 hours a week for them plus another seven or eight for the Institute of Diplomacy. Between these two, British Forum, my regular students, Golf magazine and my pension, I’ll be hauling in close to USD6,500 a month!
Straight into my bank account! It should assure me at least USD50,000 by this time next year!
